


All Kinds Of Truths

by Andian



Category: Gotham (TV)
Genre: Episode Related, Episode: s01e09 Harvey Dent, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-23
Updated: 2015-01-23
Packaged: 2018-03-08 18:21:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,196
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3218807
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Andian/pseuds/Andian
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>When she opened the door she saw Barbara standing there, wet and with a suitcase in her hand.</i>
</p><p>After leaving Gordon Barbara goes to Renée.</p>
            </blockquote>





	All Kinds Of Truths

She wanted to scream when she opened the door and saw Barbara standing there, wet and with a suitcase in her hand. She didn't. Instead Renée stepped aside wordlessy, doubtlessy preemting Barbara's polite request to come in. It was Barbara after all, she would ask, would ask even now.

She followed Renée into her living room and Renée left her there, walking into her kitchen. “Vodka or whiskey?” she asked over her shoulder, already pouring in the vodka. Barbara was still standing in the middle of the living room, dripping on Renée's carpet, suitcase on the floor next to her. “Do you want a towel?” Renée asked when she came back. There are other things she could ask, things she probably should ask. Why are you here, first and foremost. Does Gordon know then probably.

But it was Barbara. Barbara who just shook her head before stopping herself. “Can I,” and Renée involuntary flinched when she heard how rough her voice sounded, “Can I use your shower?” It wasn't quite what Renée had expected. She nodded. “You know where the towels are.” A small smile appeared on Barbara's face, thin and sad. “Yes. I do.” Without another word she walked towards the bathroom, Renée looking after her.

The moment the bathroom door closed Renée let out a sigh, sitting down on the couch. This was bad. Part of her wondered if she should call Gordon but another part pointed out that they weren't that good friends. Also it had been Barbara's decision to come here, hadn't it been? Maybe she was misunderstanding the situation, maybe there was logical explanation. 

Her eye fell on the suitcase and she should just stop bullshiting herself already. She reached for her drink, closing her eyes until she heard the shower stop.

“Thank you,” Barbara's voice was soft and Renée felt a slight shudder run down her spine when she looked up and saw her standing there in Renée's bathrobe. It was a bit too big on her, the cloth framing her body in a way that made Renée want to reach out and pull her in a tight embrance. Barbara looked soft like this, skin slightly flushed from the shower, soft and warm and touchable in a way she wasn't anymore. At least not for Renée. Then she remembered the suitcase. 

“Sit down,” Renée said, nodding at the chair to her left but Barbara sat down next to her, not touching but close enough. Something inside of Renée twisted. 

“I left him,” Barbara then suddenly said. She didn't look at Renée as she said it, focused instead on her hand playing with the sleeve of the bathrobe.  
Renée didn't answer even though she knew that she probably should.

“It was … it just got too much, you know. After … after everything.” Barbara continued, hand tightening around her sleeve and Renée impulsevly reached for it, covering her hand with her own. Barbara looked up. “I didn't know who else to go to,” she said and she looked so sad, so scared, so broken and Renée wanted nothing more than to pull her close and hold her until she was fixed and happy and all those things that Renée had loved, still loved in her.

“It can be difficult when something like this happens.” she said instead and Barbara let out a soft laugh, bitter and high and Renée suddenly wanted to hurt Gordon for doing this to her. “Talking helps,” she added. Talk to Gordon, she did not add. Barbara seemed to have gotten it anyway. “I tried,” she said and there is hurt in her eyes, mixing with sadness. “But he's always so busy. Always out there having to safe the city.” Because he loves it, Renée thought. Probably as much as he loves you. But do you really know that, another part of her pointed out. Do you really know that man? 

“I can see how … how that might be hard.” she said. Diplomatic, a part of her whispered mockingly. 

And the wrong thing to say. Barbara's eyes darkened and she tried to pull her hand away and Renée could feel the panic rise in her. “But sometimes you just need someone,” she quickly added. Barbara visibly relaxed, leaving her hand covered under Renée's, tentatively smiling at Renée who smiled back, relief rushing through her. 

“It's the damn city, you know,” Barbara mumbled then, looking blankly somewhere over Renée's shoulder. “It's like quicksand. You try to get somebody else out and before you realize it you're stuck too. And then you will pull somebody else down with you and they are lost too.” 

Renée didn't really know Gordon. She knew his files, sure, she knew every little detail about his background that she and Crispus had found, she knew that he was a good cop or at least trying really hard. But she didn't really know him as a person. But still she remembered the way he looked at Barbara, the way Barbara looked at him and she knew without a doubt that Gordon would never let Barbara go down this route. It would be both true and the right thing to say.

“I would never let anything happen to you, Barbara.”

But this was also a true thing to say. And maybe Barbara was wrong, maybe it wasn't Gotham that was the problem, the quicksand, the thing that would swallow her whole. Maybe it was Gordon.  
Not because he wanted to, no, but because sometimes things just happened.

“I know that.” Barbara did not smile as she said it, eyes still looked at a point somewhere over Renée's shoulder. “We didn't even really talk before I left.” It was barely a whisper, an afterthought, clearly not meant for Renée to hear but she did and she felt cold. Barbara had sounded like that when Renée had told her that it couldn't go on like this anymore, that they weren't good for each other.

It had made Renée want to pull her close and kiss her, to tell her that she loved her, would always love her. It had made Renée want to lie to her. Tell her that they could work it through. That there was a way for them.

But Barbara had deserved the truth back then and Renée's head was swimming, because Barbara always deserved the truth.

But Renée wouldn't let her down in the same way Gordon wouldn't let her and maybe, maybe there were different kind of truths.

The day they had broken up she had stayed strong. Had been the person she was always trying to be, no matter how hard it sometimes was, no matter how much it sometimes hurt.

“Thank you Renée.” Barbara said, now finally looking at her and she looked so fragile, so easy to hurt. And she had been right with one point. It was so easy to become lost in Gotham. Barbara was leaning closer to her and Renée didn't stop her. 

Cause no matter how much some things could hurt, loosing Barbara would hurt too much. 

And she leaned forward a bit and returned Barbara's kiss, slowly stroking over Barbara's hand as the night set in Gotham.


End file.
